It's been a little while

I'm sorry folks, it's been awhile since I've posted anything new. I'm finding writing to be more difficult lately, in part because of time, and in part because the stress of the new fall schedule makes it harder for the words to flow once I do find myself at the keyboard.

I'm always able to get a rash of writing done just after a posting, but then, almost inevitably, it'll dry out and despite having the full chapter in my head it doesn't come.

The last post about my Bella/Jasper one-shot is once again being postponed, even though I thought I'd complete it quickly, or I wouldn't have mentioned in on the blog.

All writing energy is being devoted now to Chapter 22 of Moonlit (though I confess that in addition to "Your Real Name" and Ch.22 I was also working on Ch.23 - three things at once! No wonder I dried out).

Chapter 22, instead of being Bella starting at college, as promised, is now going to depict the road trip to get from Forks to the eastern United States. It's been a little bit since "Moonlit" had Bella and Carlisle alone together, and we were due. :)

In the meantime, I did post an outtake of a summer baseball game on the "Moonlit Deleted Scenes".

I thought that I would give you all a teasing taste of the Bella/Jasper one shot I've been working on off and on since May.

An age guide to the vampires for the plot of "Moonlit."


Actual physical ages:

Jasper: 20

Alice: 19

Carlisle: 23

Esme: 26

Maggie: 25


Ages at the time they arrived in Forks:

Jasper: 15

Alice: 15

Carlisle: 26

Esme: 29

Maggie: 28


Supposed ages at the time of the death of Maggie and Jasper's parents:

Jasper: 12

Alice: 12

Carlisle: 23

Esme: 26

Maggie: 25

(Jessica says "like a decade ago" to Bella, but the story is only five years previous to that moment.)


Ages at the time of Chapter One:

Jasper: 17

Alice: 17

Carlisle: 28

Esme: 31

Maggie: 30
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I found this among my drafts, dated October 2010. Thought it was time to post. :)

Moonlit banner

RachelxMichelle of RxMbanners made a banner for Moonlit, just because the story has been on her mind since the last update. Now that is one of the nicest things ever!

Stephenie Meyer went high fashion on Alice's prom dress, so I felt that I could only do the same. This is an Armani gown from the Spring 2006 selection.

The goal is to post Moonlit Ch. 20 tonight! I'm currently in the home stretch.

Carlisle gives Bella a second gift on New Year's Eve.

What girl's heart wouldn't go aflutter at the sight of Carlisle smiling?

Chapter Twenty of "Moonlit" is going to span mid-December 2005 through to mid-May 2006. Hang in there with me folks.

Squee! RxMBanners let me adopt this one for Chapter 19 of "Moonlit." I first came across this montsh ago, and thought how much it worked for the Bella/Rosale face-off I was going to have in Moonlit. It disappeared from her site for awhile, and I thought that it had been adopted. It showed up again when I was composing the chapter. How serendipitous is that? It was a great visual, and along with some music, it helped me get out what I consider to be one of my best chapters.

I was given the banner to adopt. Yay!

So, I wrote a lemony outtake for "One Weekend." You'll have to tell me whether it's good. I left it on a happy note - but one that felt too flirtatious. I liked the ambiguity of making the reader decide whether Carlisle and Bella get up to anything more.

Yet, it bothered me more and more leaving it that way, like I was compromising myself. Part of "One Weekend" is about having a lover who is also a friend. Lots of people take exception to that - particularly since Edward and Esme remain in the picture. Leaving the outtake with an ending that was delightfully flirty made it feel like I wasn't acknowledging my characters' ability to step back. That was wrong.

So I got out of bed tonight to add a little more to the outtake that came to mind as I was reading myself to sleep.

The plan: to leave the already submitted lemon to post onto the DirtyCheekyMonkeys blog as it is. Posting will be June 15th.

Afterward, I will added to "One Weekend" on fanfiction.net with the outtake that includes the characters stepping back.

Hope you like both.

A preview of Chapter 19 of "Moonlit" as I still work on refining it.

Of course, this doesn't explain the posters, but that's ok. I like to be mysterious for stupid reasons.


The moon had already risen by the time Carlisle was on his way to the hospital. Carlisle had never really thought of Bella as a child. She was young and she was a girl, but to him she’d never been a young girl. All the same, it had been something of a jolt when he saw her standing in the doorway of the small yellow house wearing nothing but a red towel. Her hair was down and wet, leaving a trail of water drops on her shoulders. Carlisle had watched as one of those drops, reflecting prisms of early moonlight that few could see, moved its way down to her clavicle. His eyes had followed the path and moved beyond, tracing the delicately pale and smooth skin to the towel line.

The towel had obviously slipped since she’d first wrapped it around herself. It was loose around her torso and waist, moving with the rise and fall of her chest. Her hidden figure was obvious, and as easily declared by the shapely legs revealed from mid-thigh down. Even her bare feet were adorable. Journeying back up to make eye contact with Bella, Carlisle had seen when the realization of her attire hit her. He had smiled at the beginnings of shock and embarrassment on Bella’s face. “Did I arrive at a bad time?”

It was a little surprising that she hadn’t fallen in her haste to get up the stairs and change.

In the solitude of his car, Carlisle laughed again under his breath. Bella was still Bella, despite the fact that he was noticing her figure. Plenty of teenage girls had figures and Bella, at eighteen, was definitely no exception. Carlisle wondered when she would start dating, and he lost his smile. Bella, dating… she’d have to be with the family less, and that was a thought Carlisle didn’t like.

It was selfish of him. As it was, he felt bad at having stepped on Charlie’s parental toes by gifting Bella the phone without talking to him first. He hadn’t stopped to think about Bella’s primary family, even if it consisted of just her father. That made it all the more important, particularly since Bella would be going to college soon. Carlisle would have more time with her then than Charlie would.
The thought startled him, or more pointedly, the assumption behind the thought did. Alice and Jasper had taken on the roles of teenagers in order to enable the family to stay in one place longer. Ostensibly the same age as Bella, they, too, would supposedly be going to college when she did, while the family’s home base was to remain in Forks for about another three years. At what point had he envisioned that they would all actually follow Bella to her college of choice? Yet, that was exactly what Carlisle wanted to do.

Over an hour early for his shift, Carlisle parked his Mercedes and made his way into his office. It was fairly small compared to the one he had at home, yet it was serviceable for his professional needs. The hospital budget had supplied the desk and chairs, as well as the standard issue filing cabinets. Carlisle began to review patient files.

He’d have to talk it over with Esme and Maggie, as well as Alice and Jasper. It would mean uprooting the family earlier than planned. Yet staying with Bella would be worth it. There would never again be another Bella in his life, their lives. If the family agreed, hopefully Bella would, too. Somehow, Carlisle had no doubt that she would.

Yet, something had happened on her father’s couch tonight. She’d held herself back. Bella had been about to kiss his cheek, but she’d paused then pulled away. What had made her draw away from him like that? It was a silly thing to feel wounded over, but Carlisle had been hurt. He could reason it away now as simply an awkward moment. Though prior to this evening he and Bella hadn’t had any awkward moments.

The phone on his desk rang unexpectedly. Carlisle picked it up, wondering if Grace had noticed him come in and he was being asked into the ER. The voice on the other end did not, however, hold middle-aged accentuation.

“We’ve already sent in our applications,” chimed Alice. “Jasper and I are completely on board with actually attending college this time around. Jazz is looking forward to earning a degree in history.”

Carlisle smiled into the phone. “Saw this one coming, did you?”

“Yes, and I made sure we got our applications in on time before you had to bribe any schools to let us in. I know the money doesn’t matter,” Alice interrupted before Carlisle could speak. “However the morality of it is an issue. How do you think Bella would feel knowing that we’d bought our way into joining her?”
“Point taken. What schools? Are there any that will reject Bella because of her father’s limited income?”

“Don’t worry about it, Carlisle. Just be prepared to look for hospital openings in New England once Bella decides which of the many acceptance letters she’ll receive means the most to her.”

Sometimes it was still unsettling to have Alice’s precognition a part of their lives. He had just barely had this realization, and now it was nearly set that they’d be relocating in a few months. “How do Esme and Maggie feel about this?”

“Bella means something to all of us, Carlisle. We want to continue to be a part of her life.”

“Let’s just hope she wants us there.” Not many young women had their friends’ entire families move to a new state to stick with them through college. “I don’t want to smother her, Alice.”

“You couldn’t, Carlisle.”

Carlisle thought again of Bella pulling back from him. “I’m not so sure,” he said sadly.

I've been unsuccessful at writing anything for the past 3 or 4 days. I was invited to write a lemon for Dirty Cheeky Monkey's Squeeze My Lemon, and I'm going to do it. At first I started a Bella/Jasper spy O/S that is based on a dream that I had way back in September. I juggled both it and Moonlit together. Then I got stalled on both.

So, I thought, well, the third time Bella and Carlisle have sex in "One Weekend" has always been in my head though I never wrote it out for the story. I'll do that instead.

I am still roadblocked. Though it's been fun rereading parts of "One Weekend."

Back in January ItHappened sent me this image she'd found, totally labeling it as the second sex scene in my story. Have to say, it's pretty damn good. What do you think?

I typed this up for a reader who accidentally started the story at Ch. 13 when she added an author alert, and then started from the beginning, not realizing that it was a story she was already reading.

So, since I went through the effort, I thought I'd share. This is a very basic chapter-by-chapter synopsis of Moonlit, leaving out many of the details that keep you folks coming back. It feels like a booklet insert on a DVD TV season.

Ch. 1
Bella comes home and gets injured in her driveway. At the ER she meets Carlisle, and something seems suspicious and familiar.

Ch 2.
Bella starts school, and might have been hit by Tyler's van if she had parked differently. She notices Alice watching.

Ch. 3
Alice ponders Bella's future. Bella gets injured in the kitchen and sees Carlisle again.

Ch 4.
Bella begins to get suspicious about the connection between the Blacks and the Cullens. Alice and Jasper save her from attack in Port Angeles, with Rosalie and Edward in the wings.

Ch 5.
Carlisle talks with Alice about the unknown girl she saved.

Ch 6.
Bella goes to La Push and gets Jake to re-tell her the story of the Cold Ones she heard when she was 8. She realizes that the Cullens are vampires, and twists her ankle.

Ch 7.
Carlisle treats Bella and her excessive interest makes him conclude that she has a crush on him.

Ch 8.
Embarrassed by a faux pas that allows her to realize Carlisle thinks she's crushing on him, Bella goes to Carlisle's office and tells him she knows the truth.

Ch 9.
The Cullens discuss Bella's knowledge, and Carlisle is worried for her safety. Maggie decides to talk to Bella.

Ch 10.
Maggie surprises Bella in her truck after school, and after some discussion the family welcomes Bella. Bella learns of the errant members: Edward and Rosalie, vampire vigilantes.

Ch 11.
Flashback to 1934 and the paths that led Edward and Rosalie to go vigilante together

Ch 12.
Alice envisions that Bella is Edward's singer, and the family makes preventative plans. Carlisle helps Bella through some awakening moral issues, and they touch for the first time.

Ch 13.
Prepared to meet his singer, Edward uses music to help control his bloodlust. In later conversation, Edward offends Bella and leaves, only to sneak into her room that night. Carlisle angrily fetches him away.

Ch 14.
Though Edward privately realizes that he's formed a romantic attachment, the family decrees he's not to be left alone with Bella. Bella is more aware of her sexuality. Carlisle accepts a date with a human acquaintance. Bella, Rosalie and Edward argue, leading to Bella finding out they were involved that night in Port Angeles.

Ch 15.
Rosalie sets the record straight with Bella. Edward decides upon a plan to woo Bella, only to have Alice tell him to back off for Carlisle's sake. Maggie comforts Edward. Bella seeks comfort from Carlisle, and they blindly admit their affection for one another.

Ch 16.
Bella is happy, until Rosalie informs her that one of her attackers is no longer in jail. Rosalie vocalizes a flashback of her trauma.

Ch 17.
Edward snatches Bella for a private chat, in which he reveals that Rosalie is trying to manipulate Bella. Learning that Rosalie is very damaged and Edward suffers with her makes Bella sympathetic, until he kisses her. Both are flustered yet resolve to not let it go any further.

Ch 18.
The family decides to be lenient with Edward. Morally torn, Bella realizes that Rosalie has successfully begun to sink her hooks in. Carlisle arrives to check on Bella, and a confusing romantic moment is interrupted by Charlie's arrival.

This picture helped me through Chapter 18.

We've got worried Carlisle.

Distraught Bella.

More worried Carlisle.

A towel.

A gift.

An almost-kiss.

Charlie coming home.

A confused Bella.

A sad moment.

Let's throw in some Joan of Arc, and a Blackberry and the chapter is chock-full of stuff.

I just want to say THANK YOU to AlltheOtherNamesAreUsed for sending me this picture.

I've been writing, getting interrupted for the very good cause of caring for my newborn son, coming back and losing the feel for the chapter, finding it and writing again - only to be interrupted. The chapter's coming, I swear! Boy, did I call it when I thought it would be slow, though. I wish I could work it faster.

Been rereading Twilight to remind myself of actual canon. It's funny how often I had to think "oh, right, that was in my story not this one."

I think one detail I put in my story that I didn't see in Twilight might have actually come from Midnight Sun, so I excuse myself of thinking it was canon.

Bella actually began to annoy me in a couple places. I guess that I have been more generous with her character than I thought.

Then I made the mistake of watching Twilight:Eclipse (with RiffTrax, of course). Completely killed the mood.

Perhaps I can recover this weekend.

New banner for "One Weekend."

Came across the talented RachelxMichelle's banner blog, and asked if she wanted to give "One Weekend" a stab. This is what she came up with! (It uploaded kind of small; there's text below their faces.)

Check out her other stuff, you can adopt some of the banners she's made for your own story.

http://rxm-banners.blogspot.com/

Tuesday Fic Rec with KT8812

From the Twi-Muses. www.twimuses.com

TUESDAY, MARCH 15, 2011

Tuesday Fic Rec with KT8812

Time seems to be flying, so once more I am facing the quandary of rec’ing a fresh fic for all you wonderful people out there. However, with so many fabulous writers in the realm of fan-fiction, I didn’t really have to work too much before I came up with this one!

Moonlit by Stormdragonfly

Rating: M

Pairing: Bella/Carlisle

Genre: Romance/Drama

Summary: When Bella returns to the town she hasn't lived in since she was eight, she's intrigued by the Cullens more than she realizes. As she matures and starts to consider the weight of choice and morals, she realizes there is one man who's always there for her.

I became a fan of Storm when I first read her story ‘One weekend’ which is also a Bella/Carlisle story dealing with the controversial subject of Carlisle ‘relieving’ Bella of her pesky virginity because Edward did not have the self control to carry out the task himself. While I could not see eye to eye with her on the topic of Bella and Carlisle becoming intimate for that one sole human experience and then going back to their lives as they were before, I certainly became a huge fan of her writing skills.

Which brings us to our story of interest today, ‘Moonlit’. ‘Moonlit’ is a Bella/Carlisle story which is meant for the intellectual reader who relishes intellectual dialogue, human paradox and the moral conundrum in trying to define right and wrong. No sudden fireworks here, but the story draws you in slowly and surely. Bella learns of the secret of Cullen family and becomes a part of their lives. Surpises come her way when she meets the prodigal children of Carlisle Cullen- Edward and Rosalie. While they stick to Carlisle’s ‘vegetarian’ diet, their ideas regarding the sanctity of human life certainly differ from what Carlisle believes. Vigilante vampires, anyone?

Perhaps the biggest accolade one can give to this story is that despite pertaining to vampires and the supernatural, the story is almost real, very believable, which speaks volumes about the author’s knack of writing an incredibly entertaining story.

Salient features: If there is one thing that sets this story apart from the rest, it is the portrayal of Edward and Rosalie as vigilantes. The two of them, often at odds with each other, yet united in their effort of bringing justice to mankind, trying to prevent criminals from committing crimes and punishing them for those already committed is spine chilling. What adds to the allure of the story is Bella’s perception of Edward and Rosalie’s work. For someone so young who is introduced to the myriad shades of gray as seen by a couple of century old vampires, Bella’s reactions and thoughts are wonderfully portrayed.

Read this story, for it is bound to entice not just your heart, but also your mind.

Teaser from ‘Moonlit’:

Killers. They're killers. Bella spat into the sink, and brought her toothbrush to her mouth again, slowly working the rear teeth. She looked on the reflection of her face in the mirror without really seeing it. How was she supposed to be dealing with the sudden knowledge of two people who were out there purposely killing? Not for food or country, but for twisted reasons of their own?

Moving her brush to the other side of her mouth, Bella worked the bristles as she continued to stare blankly in the mirror. How would she have felt if she had been hurt like Rosalie? Or if she could have stopped something before it happened, like Edward? Yet all Bella got from trying to think of those things was a deep sick feeling in her gut. She spit out the last of the paste in her mouth and rinsed the brush. fAs she tapped the excess water off she heard Charlie on the other side of the bathroom door.

"Bella?"

"Yeah, Dad, I'll be right out."

Her father was standing in the hallway, hands tucked in his back jean pockets and flannel shirt hanging unbuttoned to reveal the "Fish Wanted" t-shirt she had gotten him for his birthday. If you catch this fish, please release it so I can catch him again. He's mine!

"What's up?" she asked.

"Just wanted to catch you before you went to bed." Charlie had a reluctant fatherly expression on his face that Bella interpreted to mean he felt he was about to deliver bad news. "There've been some budget cuts from the state. I'm not going to have as much money coming in as I did before."

"Oh, Dad, that sucks."

"Yeah," Charlie said in that single syllable tone that made it sound like he was about to deposit into a spittoon though he'd never chewed tobacco a day in his life. "You're eighteen years old, and I haven't been pushy on this subject so far. I know that you've been spending a lot of time with your friends, especially the Cullens. I'm happy about that but, Bells, I think it might be time for you to get a job. With Christmas coming up there's got to be some places about to hire part-time."

"You're right. I've been thinking about that, actually." Bella looked down at Charlie's t-shirt instead of his face. She acknowledged to herself that the Cullens were part of the reason why she'd delayed looking. "I'm sorry I waited so long. You shouldn't have had to ask me."

"You've only got another year here. I don't want you to be gone all the time, but a job would be healthy for you."

"I'll start looking," Bella promised.

"Alright," Charlie said, frowning at his daughter's downcast eyes. "Something wrong?"

The thoughts raced across Bella's mind as she looked back up at her father. The secrets that she had been keeping from him had taken a more severe turn that afternoon. She wished that she could tell him all about Edward and Rosalie, and how sick what they were doing made her feel. Yet she couldn't, not even in a general way. Her father was law and order, and if they weren't vampires it would be his job to stop them. He'd even be able to talk to her about why it was wrong and he had to take a stand against it. Bella felt a sudden fierce surge of love for Charlie.

Yet she couldn't take comfort from him.

"No, just tired, and a little regretful. I'll find a way to earn some money and help out a little more."

"You're a good girl, Bella." This time it was Charlie that felt the surge of love. Bella smiled at him.

"Thanks."

"Yeah, well." There would be no hug, or kiss on the cheek. Charlie didn't work that way. "Goodnight, then."

"Goodnight."

Charlie made his way down the stairs and Bella went into her room.

Though she didn't remember them in the morning, her dreams were fretful, and she woke to find her blankets twisted and half off the bed from her thrashing.

Somehow I managed to write and edit Rosalie's scene. I sent the first draft of Chapter 16 out to be pre-read last night. I got it back this morning, and have spent the last half-hour or so refining that particular scene. Now I am disturbed. I accepted some changes, threw out others, and now that I am too uncomfortable to want to go back through it again, I think that the scene works as it is.

It's likely that I'll post Chapter 16 today - and definite that it will post before the baby comes.

So, good news, I'm getting another chapter in! Too bad it's a cliffhanger.

Happily found ways to open Chapter Sixteen with some necessary light moments.

I wonder if I'm stalled because the chapter turns so dark.

In the meantime, I found a couple of cool manips tonight. This is one of them.

Author's Note

I am sitting down in front of a blank Word document, and getting ready to start Chapter Sixteen. Whenever I've thought about writing this chapter, I knew that it would frighten me. It's going to be the darkest chapter of "Moonlit." Maybe I don't have to go there, maybe I can gloss over it and still convey the general idea. That way I can spare the readers what I won't spare myself, because even if I do choose that route, I will have to write the full thing out for myself.

Why is it necessary to go here? It just is. Perhaps that isn't a straight answer, perhaps just feeling that something is part of the story doesn't mean that it needs to be. Either way, I'm going to need to write this.

Poor Edward, he gets some really painful news in the next chapter.

Speaking of which, I have finally finished all the scenes in Chapter Fifteen! I just need to look it over, tweak a few things, then send it off to my awesome prereader. So far, she's been more like a beta, and she's been invaluable!

It should take a day or two to get it back from her, and then some more tweaking, I am sure. I will post the same day I get it back!

It very well may be that this is the last chapter I will post before the baby comes. If that is the case, then we pause in a good place for all the "Moonlit" lovers out there.

Alas, the final scene of Chapter 15 is kicking my butt. Why is something so easy when you're thinking about it, and then when you find yourself ready at the keyboard, it's just not flowing out?

Bella, Carlisle. Carlisle, Bella. Maybe I need to shift the perspective to more of Bella's POV. Maybe I need to write a bit more about their environment and try less to pull at their emotions.

Maybe I should just have them start making out. Riiiiight.
"Oh, Carlisle, these men attacked me eight months ago and I keep having nightmares."
"Let me comfort you, Bella..."
"Um, Dr. Cullen, you have another patient coming in. And you forgot to pull the curtain."
"Go away, I'm busy getting my freak on."
"Yes, g'way, Carlisle is about to- Ohhhhhh...."

Currently refining scenes II and III. Then I'll move on to refining scene IV and finishing scene V.

Really really hoping to post soon! It definitely won't be a 2 month wait this time.

Also, I'm considering making the chapters moving forward just single scenes so that I can post more quickly. It would remove the sense of unification that putting 5 scenes in a single chapter would create, but at least I'd be giving more. It depends a little on what the scenes actually do for the story.

I'm iffy on this idea. What do you guys think?

We're not going to have to wait very long for Chapter 15. Booyah! I've got all five scenes started, three of them finished, one almost finished, and then one very hard final scene.

Yet these are rocking. I haven't been this satisfied writing a chapter in a very very long time.

Yeah, so, Chapter Fourteen sucks. It's not complete, and what's there isn't great. This is the longest I've gone without posting a new chapter, and I don't like that at all. Especially since my hands are going to be pretty darn tied up in about 7 weeks!

It's funny how certain parts of this story get stuck in my head long before I'm ready to be there with the writing and posting of it.

A few months ago, I was so excited to get to the Edward and Rosalie chapters. I wrote a few paragraphs to give in to the need, but nothing more. Now that I'm in those chapters, I wish that I hadn't backed off. Those waiting for chapter six, or whatever chapter I'd been on at the time, I'm sure were happy that their chapter posted when it did. Now, however, I need to get the Edward and Rosalie mojo back. I know what I want from the characters, but I'm not getting it as successfully on the page as I did when I was in the Rosalie/Edward zone.

Now I'm in a completely different zone, a scene in which Carlisle puts the moves on Bella in a dance club, something that doesn't happen until much later in the story. So I'm going to write it. I'd already worked on this scene in May 2009 (according to the date on the doc) and now I'm going to work it again, more fully. It'll need to be fixed, because there'll be more specific elements of events that happened in between in there that I'll have to allude to, but for now, let's write the bump and grind, the sexual tension, the frustration afterwards.