Feral beauty

Working on "Moonlit" - Ch. 11

So, as I attempt to delve deeper into the minds of Rosalie's PTSD, Edward's remorseful inner battle and Carlisle's compassionate restraint, I decided that I needed to remind myself of the kind of character portrayal I'm trying to acheive. In getting so much into Rosalie and Edward, knowing that Carlisle was going to back off and let them make their choices, I worried that I'd be forgetting that Carlisle can be quite the kick-ass. So I decided to reread my favorite piece of fanfiction: "My Lost Youth" by Edward A. Masen - Ch. 5 And Dead Shall Have No Dominion.

It's a chapter about Edward's awakening as a vampire and Carlisle's determination to keep him under control. As I read it again tonight, I just fell completey under it's spell all over again. Even as Edward turns feral and feels the need to seek out what will ease his pain, he is plagued in his mind my Carlisle's thoughts - though he doesn't recognize them for what they are. We, the readers, "hear" Carlisle decide that the best way to control newborn Edward is to scare him and be strong. The battle begins as two tireless vampires fight and struggle and basically bring Carlisle's house down.

I love the description that Edward A. Masen (a female writer) puts into every moment. Nothing is just a moment written without thought behind it. How can you not love that?

I showed the chapter to my husband once, insisting that he should read it. His comments were that it forcibly reminded him of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, in how it dramatizes the supernatural. Reading it again tonight, I think: Well, yeah. The whole darn chapter is about waking up as a vampire, and the older wiser vampire keeping the younger one under control. The whole thing is supernatural.

Honestly, the story in its entirety thus far is good, but this one chapter still done give me goosebumps.

I couldn't possibly pick a favorite line from the chapter, but my favorite moment of dialogue? :)

"I'm stronger than you," I hissed.
I felt his chest vibrate against my back in a chuckle.
"But I'm smarter."

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4855866/5/My_Lost_Youth